Here and Now
by Dr.Lancaster
Summary: As requested, an extension of Memories part 1 and 2, found in 'Chocolate Selection Box'. Caroline and Kate move to pastures new, but are they running from past or are they running to the future? Caroline's never been athletic. She decides they're just going to live in the here and now.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: As a few people have asked over the months for me to make the Memories two-parter a longer fic, I've decided to give it a go. Not sure how long it will be, or quite what will happen as yet, but I hope you enjoy it!**

 **For those who haven't read Memories, it can be found in 'Chocolate Selection Box'. It is basically a prequel to this fic.**

 **Please review, they make the time I spend writing instead of studying totally worth it :D**

* * *

Caroline stood in the centre of the kitchen looking around slowly. So many memories surrounded her, of when the boys were small, as they grew up, arguments with John, proposing to Kate, Flora's first smile. But now there was nothing- no furniture, no people, no noise, no _life,_ just Caroline stood in an empty building. She had been worried she'd be upset about leaving this place, that she would mourn it, but stood here now she knew she wouldn't. She might think of the door that had notches in it from the boys growing, one she could have used to measure Flora, too, or the stain on the carpet in the living room from Lawrence dropping god knows what. He had brought her a lovely rug and still didn't think she knew about the stain. But she wouldn't miss the house. She'd realised months ago now that it wasn't the house she loved, it was the idea it had brought with it- of a large, happy, loving family. She hadn't had that for a long time, but now she did, and they were hours away waiting for her to join them.

With a sigh, Caroline's eyes swept once more over the empty house and then she placed the keys on the table. As Kate had said, memories live in you, and not in places. Places may hold echoes, but your heart held the real memory. Caroline had smiled sadly when Kate said that, for she knew her wife still had nightmares of the accident. She'd held her close countless times as Kate cried pitifully into her. They never spoke of it in the morning, it ceased to exist when sunlight streamed through the window. Caroline was determined to fill Kate's heart with so many happy memories that the bad ones would be chased out.

* * *

Caroline was almost there when she suddenly felt overwhelmed and had to pull the car into a layby. She couldn't do this. She couldn't give up her job, her house, her life, and move somewhere else. Not at her age. She couldn't do it. She absolutely couldn't do it.

From where she'd stopped, she could see the front steps of the rehabilitation centre. Kate was already stood on the steps waiting, her bag beside her and crutches resting against the wall.

What if Caroline let her down? What if she wasn't good enough? What if she went back to how she was before? Kate would feel trapped now, so far away from friends and family and the life she'd build.

Caroline couldn't do this.

As her breathing began to grow eratic and her hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel, her phone rang loudly. The Bluetooth speakers answered it almost instantly, and there was suddenly the jarring noise of music.

"Mum!" William yelled over the music that Lawrence had insisted on. "Gran wants to know if you and Kate will be here in time for dinner, or should she make you some sandwiches to have when you get in?"

Caroline watched Kate glance at her watch and then shift carefully from foot to foot, right hand lifting to her left so she could play with her wedding ring. Caroline wondered if Kate knew she was panicking.

"Mum?"

But then Kate's face broke into an excited smile, and Caroline fancied she might have broken into a little dance if she'd been able. Caroline felt the panic beginning to leave her.

"Mum, are you there?" William yelled. In the background somewhere Flora gave a loud cry.

She could do this. It wasn't just her now who held all the responsibility. Kate was by her side.

"Yes, sorry, William. I'm not sure. I'll see how Kate is being in the car, we might have to stop off once or twice. Tell your brother to turn down that music." Caroline started the car again, indicating.

"Florence! Mum says turn the music down!" William yelled, much to Caroline's dismay as she heard Flora wail.

"Is someone actually looking after the baby?!" She asked, exasperated. Kate had seen the car now, and was already trying to balance on one crutch so she could carry her suitcase down the steps. Caroline increased her speed.

"She's just crying because she wants to eat Alan's hat and he took it off her."

Rolling her eyes, Caroline waved to Kate, silently willing her to stop what she was attempting. "She might be teething. Ask your Granny to have a look. I think I put some gel in one of the bags, but if you can't find it someone might need to go to the chemist. I need to go, I'm just picking up Kate."

"Ok, bye mum! Love you!"

"Love you too, William." Caroline smiled as she slipped out of the car. "Put that down, young lady!"

Kate stilled, then gave a sheepish smile. "I'm just eager to get going."

Caroline took the suitcase from her hand and then handed her the other crutch. "Well I have very firm instructions from Flora to get her mother to her in one piece, so no more weight lifting, thank you very much. I'm going to go and put this in the boot, and then I'll come back and help you."

Kate huffed but didn't argue. She barely even needed the crutches these days, unless she was tired. "I woke up this morning in a panic sure we'd made a terrible mistake." She provided instead.

Caroline smiled to herself as she pushed the suitcase into the last remaining space in the boot. "What changed your mind?"

"Thinking about you, and the fact you probably had a panic too. I thought of all the ways I'd reassure you, and that reassured me, too. We're doing the right thing."

"As if I'd have a panic." Caroline took the crutches into her hand and instead took Kate by the elbow to lead her down the stairs. Once they reached the bottom, she lowered her hand to take Kate's. "As if Caroline McKenzie-Dawson ever panics."

"You've had more than one, haven't you?"

"I have." Caroline nodded as she left Kate to get in the car and pushed the crutches into the back seat.

Kate smiled as she rested back in the seat. "Knew it. How many times?"

"Oh, half a dozen. That's just this morning. I've probably got another 20 or so coming today." Caroline sat down in the driver's side and turned to her wife with a smile. "Ready?"

Reaching out to take Caroline's hand, squeezing it with a strength she hadn't had months ago, Kate nodded her head. "Ready. We can do this. Together."

* * *

Kate slept through the beginning of the car ride, having had little sleep the night before. One of her hands rested limply on Caroline's thigh, and when they were on a straight piece of road, Caroline would encompass it in her own hand and hold it tightly. Her Kate. She'd come so close to losing her. But she hadn't. Kate was right here, by her side, and they were doing this together.

"I'm beginning to lose feeling in that hand."

Caroline jumped at the voice, then sheepishly released the hand from her grip. "Sorry. Did I wake you?"

Kate gave a wide yawn and stretched as much as the cramped space would allow. "Imagine if we'd been forced to make this drive in my little car."

"I have told everyone more than once that Jeeps have their uses." Caroline smiled.

"Aside from making you look rich and superior...and allowing you to get out of a car without flashing your knickers." Kate offered, opening the glove compartment in the hope of finding something to eat.

"Ha! You've caught me out. I only have a petrol guzzling car so no one sees my frilly knickers."

"I might get one, too. A new model. Top of the range." Kate nodded to herself.

Caroline gasped. "You wouldn't."

"Imagine that. Me having a bigger, newer, better car than you!"

"...You could have this one, and I could have the new one?"

"No, no. I know how much you love this car, I'd never dream of asking you to give it up for me."

Grinning like an idiot now, Caorline realised how much she'd missed these teasing chats they'd have. Everything had seemed to serious recently. All their conversations had involved plans or ideas, leaving no room for the silliness that Caroline had so recently discovered in herself. "You know I was going to stop at a service station, but I think I might drive straight past now."

Moaning at the thought of not getting food soon, for she'd been too excited to have breakfast, Kate quickly backtracked. "You could have the new one. You could get it custom made, so it would be as elegant and beautiful as you are."

Nodding her head in approval, Caroline indicated left for the service station exit.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you fancy?" Five minutes later Caroline frowned up at the board displaying the small cafes offerings, all of which made her wrinkle her nose in disgust. Lawrence would love it all. When she received no reply, she turned to look at her wife. When she found herself being watched, a smirk pulled at Caroline's lips. "What do you want to eat, Kate?"

Smiling back, Kate turned her head to look at the board. "…I don't know. Nothing greasy, or you'll be watching to deep clean your jeep. Nothing strong smelling or you'll want to drive with the windows open-"

"I'm not that bad."

"Caroline, last week Flora was sick down her front and you insisted on disinfecting the back seat." Kate reminded her wife.

Wrinkling her nose again, grown-up professional Caroline poked her tongue out. "I'm going to order a hotdog with swathes of cheese."

"No you're not." Kate smiled.

"I am." Caroline nodded, stepping forward in the line.

"What can I get you?" The server asked, sounding entirely disinterested.

Caroline paused before offering, "Just a long black, please."

Laughing softly, Kate added "And a hotdog with cheese."

"You're not eating that in my car." Caroline shot back, but when she caught Kate's eye, they shared a smile. They'd missed this, being together doing normal things. They'd never really had a chance to be a normal couple, not really.

…

"You should have ordered one yourself, you know." Kate advised a few minutes later as Caroline watched longingly when the brunette took a bite of the hotdog.

"I can't be seen ordering a hotdog!"

"Alright, Celia." Kate smirked.

Raising her eyebrows, Caroline reached out the pick up the bun herself, taking a bite rather too big, just to make a point, and ending up with tomato sauce on her chin.

Grinning, Kate reached out to wipe it away, but paused briefly to grimace at a sharp pain in her back.

Caroline was immediately on her feet and rushing around the table, concern written all over her face. "Kate?"

"I'm fine." Kate waved her away, giggling gently at the sight of Caroline looking so serious with tomato sauce on her face. "Just a spasm. They happen. My muscles aren't used to moving a lot yet."

Huffing, Caroline sat beside her, looking entirely unconvinced, but she allowed herself to smile when Kate wiped the sauce from her chin and put her finger to her lips.

* * *

"And I said no way. I said you're not dressing my daughter in that monstrosity. It was fluro, for heaven's sake! Then of course Flora spotted it and instantly grabbed it. Mum was made up until Flora put it into her mouth and sucked on it." Caroline laughed, but when there was no laughter from the seat beside hers, she glanced to the left to find Kate fast asleep. Smiling, Caroline turned the radio on low and looked back out the windscreen. One more hour and they'd be home.

* * *

While Caroline had already driven to the new house, Kate had only viewed it via video call and photos, so once they were only a few streets away, Caroline pulled to the side of the road and turned to wake her wife.

She needn't have bothered, it turned out, because Kate's eyes were already open, gazing sleepily at her wife with a gentle smile on her face.

"..What?" Caroline asked spftly.

"Our first home. We're really doing this."

"I hope we are, because I refuse to ever pack or unpack another box in my life." Caroline smield back. "No regrets?"

"None." Kate responded, reaching out to take Caroline's hand. "Let's go home."

* * *

Flora kept doing quiet whimpers, unsure why people kept waking her up when she was desperate to sleep. And why were they making her stay outside when it was cold? She gave another sleepy whimper.

"Maybe we should put her to bed, love. "Alan glanced at his wife, the baby in her arms.

"Oh, she'll be fine. I want them to drive up with us all out here."

"I feel like the servants on downton abbey." Gillian grumbled.

"You've never watched Downton?!" Celia looked shocked.

"..I've seen pictures." Gillian shrugged.

"They're coming!" William suddenly raced around the corner, rushing to join his family as they waited for the car.

Inside the vehicle, Kate was exclaiming how lovely the street was, lined with trees. When she saw the family waiting as they pulled into the driveway, a giggle escaped her lips. "They look like the staff from Downton Abbey waiting for the master to get home."

"Don't tell my mother that, she'd be mortified!" Caroline laughed. "Kate, perhaps-"

But anything else said to Kate in the next few minutes fell on deaf ears. As soon as the car was still, she was climbing from it and rushing as fast as she could to Celia. To Flora. Kate took the girl in her arm, holding her close.

Flora, finally feeling warm and safe, gave a wide yawn and shut her eyes.

"Mum, why's she crying? Doesn't she like the house?" Lawrence asked as he approached his mother to help her with the last of the things she had packed in the boot of her car.

Smiling, Caroline finally drew her gaze from Kate to look at her son, pulling him close to kiss his hair despite how he protested. "She's happy. They're happy tears."

Lawrence didn't look convinced, but just gave a shrug and wondered if he'd ever understand women as he helped his brother inside with the suitcases.

"Okay?" Caroline asked Kate gently a few seconds later as she placed a hand to the middle of her back.

Managing, only just, to pull her eyes from Flora, Kate gave a nod, smiling at her wife. "You?"

Nodding, too, Caroline dropped a kiss to Flora's head, then to Kate's lips before she led them inside. "I think our little princess needs to get to bed." As Kate gave a wide yawn, Caroline smiled to herself "And I think perhaps her mother does, too."

Though Kate protested, wanting to look around the house, she was soon fast asleep in the rocking chair next to Flora's cot.

* * *

It felt like an eternity since the accident, though in reality it was only three months. So much had changed- a new home, a new city, Lawrence off to universaity, Flora arriving. Caroline had felt the pressure of keeping everything going, trying to sort what now felt like her old life, look after her new life, and keep everyone happy while doing it.

As soon as she was discharged Kate had wanted to come home, and Caroline had felt terrible when she knew straight away she didn't want that. It wasn't that she didn't want Kate close, for she longed to hold her in her arms at night, to have someone to share her worry with, it was that she worried that at home Kate would just add to that worry.

Kate had looked hurt when she'd first mentioned the rehabilitation home, but had quickly conceeded that it was for the best, much to Caroline's relief. Both legs broken and her back injured, it seemed too much to ask for Caroline to look after her as well as Flora.

Flora, who never seemed to notice all the upsetting things going on around her. She was a happy baby who rarely cried, and every time Caroline cuddled her a sense of calm would wash over the blonde. It was Flora, who couldn't even communicate yet, who had convinced her she was doing the right thing for everyone leaving Sulgrave and moving them across the country.

And now Flora was helping her again, it seemed. She slept the longest she'd ever slept that day, allowing Kate hours of uninterrupted slumber once Caroline helped her to bed.

Flora and Kate sleeping upstairs, her mother, step-father, two sons and step sister downstairs sharing a meal, Caroline finally felt life was back on track, back to normal.

"Can I have one?" Lawrence asked as Caroline poured herself a celebratory glass of wine.

"No."

"Mum! I'm 18! You let William have a drink on his 17th birthday, he told me!"

"Yes, because William is responsible."

"So am I!"

"..If you can tell me how to use the dishwasher, I'll let you have a glass of wine." Caroline offered, smiling to herself when Lawrence huffed and got himself a glass of juice. Life was definately back to normal.


	3. Chapter 3

Kate woke with a panic, unsure where she was. The only thing she could see was a small red light in a black room, and her throat was too dry to call out. She tried to move, but her limbs felt heavy, as though something was holding them down. Swallowing, trying to get a word, a noise, anything out so she could get help, all Kate finally managed was a loud whimper. As soon as it came out, something beside her began to move, and her heart began to beat faster, her hands shaking as she readied herself to fight.

But then suddenly the room was filled with light and a sleepy Caroline was turning to squint down at her, hair sticking up at odd angles and yesterday's make-up still on and a little smudged. "Kate? Are you okay?"

Kate let out something between a laugh and a sob, so relieved. She was in her new home, finally asleep in bed next to her wife again. Lifting a hand, she pressed it to Caroline's cheek and gave another laugh.

"What is it?" Caroline asked, turning her head to drop a kiss to Kate's palm, though her worried eye's never left her wife's.

"I thought I'd died. I thought I'd woken up dead, and it was just this horrible…black." Kate was smiling despite her words, so glad to be where she was.

Caroline's frown softened and she bent forward to kiss Kate's forehead before she drew back to contemplate her. "…Perhaps we could get a night light? Just for a little while, so it won't be so dark in here."

Kate nodded her head, turning to look for an alarm clock but found none. "What time is it?"

"No idea." Caroline rubbed her face tiredly and then rested it back onto the pillow beside Kate's. "Flora wakes for a feed around 2, so it's probably earlier than that."

"You didn't take your make up off."

Caroline gave a faint smile now. "I came in intending to use the en-suite for that exact purpose, but I was too excited to get into bed beside you."

"And then I wake you up." Kate looked pained.

"Doesn't matter. I'd wake up hundreds of times a night if I had to, just to have you beside me again." Caroline reached out, tracing the small scar on Kate's neck, and Kate turned her head to kiss her wife's wrist.

A few minutes later they were curled up together, the light still on and Caroline stroking Kate's hair, when Flora began to cry. The red light she'd seen was the baby monitor.

"I'll go." Caroline went to pull away, but Kate shook her head, already swinging her legs from the bed. Caroline considered the options for a moment, then offered, "You get her, I'll go and sort the bottle, and then we will meet back here?"

Kate smiled faintly, nodding her head and squeezing Caroline's arm as she passed her in the doorway, thoughts already focused on being able to get up to her crying daughter for the first time. Caroline smiled after her for a few beats before she made her way to the kitchen.

"Hello." Kate smiled down at her grizzling daughter who lay with fists clenched and an open mouth, readying herself to cry again. Reaching down, she gently pulled the girl into her arms, pleased when Flora's mouth closed and she instead gazed up at Kate in silence. "I've missed you." Kate whispered as she walked slowly, surely, back towards the bedroom. "I had so many plans and ideas after wanting you for so long, and I've missed out on so much."

Kate sat on the edge of the bed, eyes not leaving her daughter who seemed fascinated with her. "I thought I would be upset. I suppose I am, but only for myself. Because your other mummy has looked after you so well, hasn't she? She remembered all the things I talked about."

Flora wriggled her legs, as though in response to talk of Caroline, and though a tear fell down her cheek, Kate smiled. "I'm here now, though. And I'm never going to leave you again. Any of you."

"D'you mean that?" Caroline asked quietly from the doorway.

When Kate turned to her and nodded, Caroline joined her on the bed, bottle in hand, and both mothers watched as they fed Flora for the first time in their new home.

* * *

"Morning, love."

Caroline looked up from her newspaper to give her mother a smile. "Morning. There's tea in the pot."

"How was your first sleep in your new house?" Celia wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulder from behind, giving her a gentle squeeze. They'd shared a lot more hugs since Kate's accident.

"Okay. Good." Caroline nodded, giving her mother another smile as she walked further into the kitchen to get her tea. "You must have exhausted poor Flora yesterday, she only woke once last night."

"Oh, I don't think it was us. I think it's the fact everything's settled now. She knows there'll be no more upheaval."

"Do you think so?"

"Well, Lawrence was the same, wasn't he? When John went to…where ever he went that fortnight just after Lawrence was born, the poor lad wouldn't settle, do you remember? Two weeks non-stop crying. As soon as John was home, he was an angel." Celia wrapped her hands around her mug and joined her daughter at the table.

"..I suppose you're right." Caroline nodded thoughtfully.

"I am sometimes, you know."

"Occasionally." Caroline agreed with a smile, returning to read her newspaper.

"Me and Alan thought we'd stay another couple of days until you're all unpacked and settled, and then we will head back. But you know you've only to call us and we will come back."

"I know, mum." Caroline reached out to squeeze her mother's hand. "You've been a real help to me, to us, the last few months. I know it hasn't been easy for you."

"It's been a lot harder for you than me." Celia pointed out. "I'm just glad that..well, I know I wasn't too happy about kate in the beginning, but I can see now how happy she makes you. And I can hardly dislike someone who gave me my little Flora, can I?"

"Is that a confession that you actually like Kate now?" Caroline asked with a laugh.

"Don't tell her, I don't want her getting a big head like you've got. All posh, went to Oxford and runs a prestigious school, mother who loves her. Biggest head in England, you've got." Celia retorted, though she smiled, and her daughter smiling back.

* * *

The peace of the morning was eventually broken, the boys thundering down the stairs, then Gillian. The kitchen table was soon surrounded by people, Caroline still sat at its head trying to sort out dilemmas and make sure everyone was happy. The difference now was that people were happy, including Caroline herself. She was near her beloved William again, Lawrence seemed to have thawed towards both her and Kate, and Kate-

Caroline paused to glance at the seat beside hers on which Kate sat with her back to her wife throwing instructions at William on how to make pancakes properly, Flora resting snuggly in the crook of one arm and gazing silently up at Kate as she'd done since she'd woken.

Reaching out, Caroline wrapped her arms around Kate's middle, resting her head on her shoulder so she could smile down at Flora. And no one said a thing. Lawrence wasn't disgusted, her mother didn't roll her eyes, Gillian made no snide comments.

When she felt Kate laugh, Caroline focused back on the conversation her family was having and was dismayed to find herself the reason for the laughter.

"Oh, I was only joking!" Caroline threw at her stepsister.

"She wasn't." William, her usual ally, offered. "She genuinely thinks we're in the country. She asked the other day if any shops are open on the weekend."

"You're across from a park, Caroline! It's not like you're on the Shetland Islands!" Gillian laughed.

As they continued to tease Caroline, she returned her gaze to her daughter, lifting a hand from Kate's middle to take hold of one of Flora's hands. "Don't listen to them. I'm very, very smart. I know everything."

Smiling, Kate turned her head to kiss Caroline's cheek. "Not everything, Caroline."

"Well, most things."

"Most things." Kate agreed with a soft laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

"Aren't you feeling even the tiniest bit guilty?" Kate asked with a smile an hour later.

"Nope." Caroline smiled.

"We should probably go and help…"

" _I_ should probably go and help. You're not going anywhere near a cardboard box." Caroline stretched against Kate and then reluctantly pulled away from their embrace. "I think you could probably manage to make a pot of tea though."

"Mmm, I suppose I could. For you."

Caroline smiled at this, returning to her previous position beside her wife in bed, kissing her. "Five more minutes."

* * *

"Where's Caroline?"

"Hello Kate, thank you for making me a cup of tea."

Celia paused for a moment, her face a mixture of emotions at Kate's words. Alan winked at Kate and they shared a smile. "Well, yes. Thank you for the tea, Kate. You make a lovely cup."

"You're very welcome, Celia. As for Caroline, I've no idea. Last I saw her, she was knee deep in a pile of science books." Kate offered, handing Alan his cup of tea. "I can find her for you?"

"I was just going to ask her if she wanted me to pop out and buy some food for the pantry, in case you don't get the chance to go for a few days. I suppose you can answer, though." Celia had been making strides, but she was still Celia, after all. Kate didn't let it get to her anymore, though. She knew where she stood.

"Yes, I suppose I could, and yes, I think we would all appreciate that, Celia. Thank you. I could join you, if you like?"

"No, you couldn't." A voice called from somewhere within the house. Caroline. Even Celia had to smile at this.

"You best stay here and keep the tea coming." Celia smiled at Kate, resting her hand briefly on her forearm.

Smiling back at her mother-in-law, Kate slipped from the room and walked towards the voice, a warm cup of tea in her hands. Restless now Flora had gone down for a nap, Kate hoped she might convince Caroline there was something she could do aside from making tea.

A glance into the study told her Caroline was no longer there, but something on the desk caught her eye. A recent photo of Flora she hadn't seen before. Curious, Kate walked in and put the coffee down before picking up the photo album. She studied that one picture for a long time before she began flipping back the pages.

It was about five minutes before Caroline came looking for her wife, steps faltering in the doorway. "…Kate…"

Kate brushed away the tears from her cheeks and put the album down with a bang. Avoiding all eye contact, Kate stood and brushed past Caroline. "I think I might go for a nap."

"Kate." Caroline touched her arm gently, but Kate pulled it away with force and moved as fast as she could away.

Sighing to herself, Caroline entered the study and looked down at the discarded album. It contained photos of all of Flora's first- things Kate hadn't been able to witness, and things Kate still refused to hear about. She still knew nothing of Flora's first days in the world, or the first time Caroline had held her. She had been so medicated that Caroline wasn't even sure Kate remembered holding her for the first time herself. Caroline had intended on hiding this album until Kate felt ready to look at it.

Pushing it into her top draw and locking it away safely, Caroline walked hesitantly towards the master bedroom.

Inside, Kate lay curled up, her face buried in her pillow with only the occasional sniffle indicating she wasn't asleep. Caroline knelt down beside the bed, brushing Kate's hair gently with her hand, knowing that despite all her efforts there would be nothing she could do to comfort her, for nothing had worked in the past. But this time Kate uncurled just a little, a heart rendering sob escaping her lips. When Caroline moved onto the bed, Kate curled into her, finally encompassing Caroline into her grief, finally allowing her inside.

* * *

"Where's mum?"

"No idea." Celia held her hands out. "I've brought some take away for dinner, if you're hungry."

"I'm always hungry." Lawrence replied, riffling through the bags on the kitchen bench until his grandmother battered him away.

"Go and tell everyone dinner is here."

Rolling his eyes, Lawrence was about to call out when Celia shot him another look that made him think better of it. Instead, he began to move around the house collecting people before he returned to the kitchen. "I still can't find mum. Or Kate."

"When was the last time anyone saw them?"

"I helped Caroline move something before lunch." Gillian offered.

"Last time I saw Kate was about the same time." William responded, eyeing the fullest curry bowl hopefully.

"I think I saw them going outside earlier."

"Outside? It's freezing!"

Alan gave an apologetic shrug, looking hopefully at the steaming bowls of curry.

Everyone was thankful when Caroline walked into the room a moment later, aware Celia wouldn't let them eat until she was back.

"Where have you been all day?! Where's Kate?"

Caroline sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, rubbing a hand across her forehead before giving a weary, "We went for a walk."

"A walk? I see. and left the rest of us do the unpacking for you. Very kind of you." Celia gestured to the food bowls, finally allowing everyone to rush forward and grab one. "Will Kate be gracing us with her presence for dinner?"

Caroline shook her head both at the question and the bowl that was pushed towards her. "She's giving Flora a bath, and then I think we will have an early night."

"You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"A fine example you're setting for the children. Disappearing when work needs to be done and then-"

"Oh, shut up!" Caroline snapped without letting her mother finish, standing abruptly.

"Well..!" Celia looked aghast.

"Goodnight, boys." Caroline gave a weary half wave as she walked from the room.

William looked at his granny for a moment before rushing after her. "Mum? Do you want me to bring you and Kate up a thermos of tea and some sandwiches in case you get hungry later?"

Caroline gave a faint smile at this, reaching out to touch her eldest's cheek. "That would be lovely, William. Thank you."

Pleased he had made her smile, William smiled back before scurrying into the kitchen to make good his promise.

* * *

An hour later Caroline lay on her back with a sleeping Flora on her chest, Kate curled up beside her watching their daughter with half closed eyes. There were still sounds to be heard from the rest of the house, but inside the room was silent except for Flora's snuffling.

After her tears had subsided earlier, Kate wouldn't talk about Flora's birth or first few weeks, but had gathered the baby in her arms and had refused to let go of her until a few moments ago when she had finally allowed Caroline to hold their daughter.

"What do you think it might have been like if I hadn't been hit?" Kate asked softly.

"Kate-" Caroline warned.

"Please."

The blonde sighed, worried what she might imagine would upset Kate more. She was a person who took things how they came, she had never really imagined what something might have been like. Even after the accident she hadn't thought of the 'what ifs'. Finally, sensing Kate growing restless, she offered, "It doesn't matter, Kate. I almost lost you, and I didn't spend a second thinking about what it might have been like if we could have been together during things like Flora's first bath, because I was just savouring the moment and committing it all to memory so that, when you're ready, I can tell you everything. Like the way that she scrunched her nose and opened her mouth wide when she first felt the water, and then she gave a sigh and just relaxed completely, just like you do in the bath."

Kate didn't protest at this change of direction, and when Caroline glanced down at her she saw Kate's eyes were closed, but a gentle smile was on her lips. Maybe she didn't have to imagine to make her happy, maybe she could just remember. "When I first held her, I was fascinated. She had the longest, most beautiful lashes I've ever seen. The instant she was in my arms she stopped crying, too."

"She knew you were her mother." Kate's voice was thick with emotion. Perhaps this all needed to be said aloud to clear the air. Perhaps none of them would ever really be ready.

"..I was worried I wouldn't bond with her. I was worried that I would want to sit beside you and would resent having to go to her. But I didn't. As soon as I held her, she was mine. I, somehow, convinced the nurses to get a cot for your room so I could have her nearby. I knew that would help you, too. In fact, every time she cried you would stir a little. One day, about a week in, just before they told me she could go home, she cried for almost an hour solid and I was beginning to panic. I thought, I can't do this. She knows I'm not her mother. But then I looked at you. You'd barely moved more than a quarter of an inch all week, but now suddenly one hand had moved to the other. You were touching your wedding ring. I felt like it was some sort of sign. Like you were telling me I was part of this. Part of us. Part of Flora. So I took a deep breath, sat down, and began rocking her. She stopped crying."

Caroline only realised she was crying when Kate shifted and began kissing away her tears.

This happened several times that night to both, Flora always between them or held tightly to someone's chest. Finally, as dawn broke, Caroline lifted their sleeping baby back into her cot and returned to bed to curl up with her sleeping wife. She felt lighter than she had in months.


	5. Chapter 5

When Kate awoke the first time, she could hear a quiet singing, though she couldn't hear the words. Eyes opened slowly against sleep, Kate found Caroline stood by the window gently rocking Flora, her singing lulling the baby to sleep. Eyes closing again, a small smile on her lips. Kate allowed it to lull her to sleep as well.

When she next woke, the house was filled with the sounds of living. There was banging, chatting, people calling out to one another, the sound of the radio, though the best sound of all was of laughter.

Kate allowed herself the luxury of a long stretch as she opened her eyes. She didn't bother looking at the clock, for time meant nothing to her at the moment. It was like those days between christmas and new years when no one knows what day it is, and it seems perfectly acceptable to drink at 10am in the morning.

Instead, she was drawn to the sound of snuffling from inside the cot. Flora was only just waking up as well, but when she saw Kate, her brown eyes disappeared for a moment as she gave a wide smile. Smiling back, Kate reached in to pick her up, dropping a kiss to her cheek. "Good Morning."

Flora gurgled in reply, smiling again as she gripped onto Kate's top.

They met no one as they made their way to the nursery for Kate to change Flora's nappy, nor did they meet anyone as they walked down the stairs in the hope of a bottle for Flora and a coffee for her mother, but inside the kitchen they found Alan flipping through a newspaper.

"I hope that's not the Dailymail. Caroline might have to kick you out if it is." Kate offered by way of greeting as she walked to the fridge, glad to find a bottle had already been mixed.

"I've put it in the cover of The Telegraph." Alan whispered conspiratorially, winking at Kate when she looked to him.

"You're sneakier than I've given you credit for, Alan!" Kate laughed, settling on a stool as the milk began to heat.

"I've been forced to living with Celia. She's put me on a diet. No biscuits."

"None?"

"Not a one."

"Well, that's grounds for divorce, surely."

They smiled fondly at one another until Flora began to grumble, hungry.

"She's a right bonny lass, that one. Never a bother and always has a smile." Alan smiled down at Flora who had immediately quietened when Kate rubbed her tummy. "Is everything alright with you and.." He left the rest of the question hanging in the air, not willing to cause upset but concerned after the night before.

"Fine." Kate smiled. "I had a bit of a panic, but it's all sorted now. I don't suppose you'd like to give this one her bottle while I go and find Caroline?"

"As long as she won't tell Celia a thing about the daily mail!"

…

"Are we doing it by colour, size, author, title or genre." Kate asked a few minutes later as she walked up behind Caroline. The blonde was sorting out the bookshelves in her new office, but though she was frowning when Kate walked in, a smile lit her face when Kate wrapped arms around her and rested her chin on Caroline's shoulder.

"I usually do it by author, but then the larger books should be on the bottom shelf, surely, which stops me being able to classify them by author."

"What did you do in your other office?" Kate questioned, beginning to drop kisses to an exposed neck.

"Can't remember." Caroline offered, tilting her head to the side.

"Think harder.." Kate tightened her arms briefly then moved them back to Caroline's hips before slipping under her top.

"What are you doing?" Caroline murmured, the heavy mathematics book in her hand forgotten.

"Alan's feeding Flora." Kate's hands slipped higher, taking a heavy breast in her hand, caressing it as it's owner let out a shaking breath.

"And?"

"And your mother has taken the others out to lunch."

Caroline let out another shaking breath, her head tilting back a little so she could see Kate.

"So?" She managed, her eyes already resting on Kate's lips, which stretched into a smile.

"So, we have a few minutes alone, and I want to show you how much I love you."

"Kate." Caroline breathed the name as Kate's hand slid behind the silky bra she wore.

"I want to remind you that I'm not just someone who was injured, I'm not just Flora's mother, I'm your lover as well. I want to feel you and taste you and remind both of us what we've missed out on."

Caroline just let out another shaking breath as Kate spoke the quiet words in her ear, finding that she could no longer talk. But then suddenly the warm, loving hands were gone, and Kate was walking towards the door. Caroline was confused for a moment until Kate shut the door and turned back to her. With a look of determination, she slid her top off, then her bra, and finally the pyjama bottoms she'd worn to beD.

Ad she had when she'd helped kate shower at the hospital, Caroline's eyes were first draw to scars, but this time, she saw other things as well, things she'd almost forgotten. The muscle Kate still seemed to have, the colour of her nipples that seemed to darken when she was turned on, the curve of her hips that seemed to Caroline to be perfect.

She came to the sudden, silent realisation that this was the final part of the puzzle, the final thing they needed to move on. They'd talked, they'd cried, and now they needed to reconnect in the most basic, perfect way.

As Kate began to grow worried, Caroline finally stepped forward, her lips crashing into Kate's.

…

"There's one of those all you can eat places just down the road!"

"Is there? How lovely." Caroline offered sarcastically when her youngest son raced into the room.

"We brought some food back for you all." Lawrence offered, concerned his mother might be unimpressed because she hadn't been invited.

Caroline looked up from her book to give a smile. "Thank you, sweetheart. I'm sure it will be lovely."

"Where are the others?"

"Alan's gone with Kate and Flora for a walk to the shops."

"…you let Kate out of the house?"

"I don't know why both you and your grandmother seem to feel like I've been wrapping her in cotton wool! She's been free to come and go as she pleases."

"You'd just look on disapproving and then insist on going with her."

Caroline sighed, but had to smile at this. "Well, I suppose I must have loosened up a little, then."

"…Can I paint my room black?"

"No!"

…

Later on, having returned to her new study to complete work on the bookshelf, Caroline realised she was humming. She glanced at the door, and when she was satisfied no one was around to hear her, she began singing to herself.

Where she sat at the desk feeding Flora, Kate smiled at the sound.

They'd done the right thing moving.

Memories had been relived and now put to rest so that more memories could be made and treasured.

As Lawrence would say (had said, and then been cross questioned by his mother who thought he was making fun of her), life really was coming up Milhouse.


End file.
